Weddings can be extremely stressful and there’s no doubt that following the traditional rules of etiquette only make it harder. Unfortunately, in the world of “Wedding Etiquette dos and don’ts it seems that rules constantly change with time.
However, the overall idea of treating your guests with courtesy still remains the foundation of all etiquette. If you start questioning any of your wedding decisions, stop and ask yourself how the feelings of others will be affected. Of course, not all concerns can be addressed so easily so here are 3 common wedding etiquette problems and how to work through them.
1.) The In-Laws
Introducing your parents to one another for the first time can be a nerve wrecking experience. It can be especially hard if you’re not sure who is supposed to make the “first move”. Tradition states that the groom and his family should take the responsibility of contacting and arranging a meeting with the bride’s family. Things can get even more confusing if the bride or groom’s parents are divorced. In this instance, the parent closes to the groom should make the “first move”. But these days who makes the first call is not as important as ensuring that the parents in fact do meet at least once before the wedding. So, if neither family decides to cooperate then it’s the wedding couples duty to step in.
Etiquette is all about the consideration of others feelings. Often when parents meet the groom’s family tends to feel left out of the wedding planning process. To prevent this from happening, invite your in-laws into a few of the wedding planning discussions. Above all make an effort to always keep them informed throughout your engagement.
2.) Open Bar of Cash Bar?
Most wedding couples would love to provide an open bar to their guests, but this luxury can cost a pretty penny. To balance the expense, the concept of a cash bar was created; where guests are asked to pay for their own drinks. In the eyes of wedding etiquette, cash bars have always been frowned upon. The bottom line is that your wedding guests are still “guests” and you would never ask a guest of yours ( whether at your house, birthday party, etc.) to pay for their own drinks. So with traditional etiquette in mind, never offer a Cash bar at your wedding. If you still want to provide a bar here are 2 appropriate alternatives:
1.) Offer an open soft bar. Soft bars don’t include liquor and are much less expensive.
2.) Find a venue that allows you to provide your own alcohol. This tip can save you tons of money and any unopened bottles can always be returned.
3.) Wedding Gifts Galore
Everyone loves to receive gifts, but we can’t forget that our weddings aren’t all about the presents. Proper etiquette dictates that a wedding couple should always feel privileged to receive a gift and never entitled. Here are a few tips to help you maintain proper wedding gift etiquette.
- word of mouth is the only proper way to ask for cash gifts
- All gifts should be returned if the wedding is canceled.
- It’s impossible to expect your guests to offer a gift that at least matches the cost of “their plate”. Don’t set a rule for how much each guest is required to give
- Never mention what gifts you want on your invitation
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